Wednesday's Walk 7/22/2009

I was made aware of this blog carnival by another beautiful blog,



She got it from the original blog, here where blogger Lynette Kraft writes "Join me for Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane! It's a brand new blogging opportunity designed to help you document those precious times in your life that you don't want to forget! If you print your weekly memories you can begin your own book that you can give to your children someday! (And pull it out every now and then to share stories with your family. Kids love to be told stories about themselves, and stories from momma's childhood!)"

So, here is my first "Wednesday's Walk."

My husband and I had been trying for a while, even before being married, if truth be known. Regardless of a paper document and vows spoken before friends and family, we were already committed to one another, just as much as when we said our vows. In our hearts, we were married. We both felt led, by God, that we were to go ahead and to try and start our family. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and knew it would take forever to get pregnant, and we wanted to avoid fertility treatments if possible. So, I charted my basal body temperature and we tried. But I never would ovulate. To get pregnant, you MUST ovulate. Your eggos can't get preggo if there aren't any eggos to begin with! So, needless to say, we ultimately ended up needing clomid. I was disappointed but also excited, since now we felt like we finally had a chance! Several months, and the clomid did work. I did ovulate. But we still never got pregnant. Til the 4th cycle. I got pregnant that January (2006). I was sick as a dog and definitely feeling the hormones pretty stoutly. Yet, I have always been a worrywort, so in the back of my mind, I had raging anxiety. When we had our first ultrasound, part of me wasn't surprised when they told us it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I had a blighted ovum. I was heart-broken, and though initially my doctor told me to hold to hope that a second ultrasound 10 days later would show a baby, maybe I had ovulated later than I thought. But I knew...from charting I knew exactly when I'd ovulated, and by my early positive on a home pregnancy test, I had to have gotten a positive at 4 days after ovulation for it to be as late as it was on the ultrasound. I did have more ultrasounds though, I never could give up completely, til I knew for sure. Each ultrasound was 10-14 days after the last one, with the very first one at almost 8 weeks. I was approaching 10 weeks, and at 15 weeks he said they would want to induce me versus a d&e, so I made the decision after the last ultrasound showed it was breaking down and there was still no sign of a baby at all. I knew then there was no hope. My baby was long gone.



I was heart-broken, but I trusted in the Lord's timing. This wasn't my baby, this was the Lord's baby, and He'd taken it back, nearly as soon as he'd given it to my body. For whatever reason, I had to trust in that or I would be eaten alive by fear, rage, and sorrow. So I had a d&e, my first ever stay in a hospital, and we named our baby Quinn Dallas, a name I felt worked for a boy or a girl. Dallas was my great great grandmother's middle name, and little did we know, but just a few short months later, we'd buy her house, even if we didn't know it at first. I kinda feel in my mommy gut that Quinn was a boy. Just a feeling. I wish we'd done the testing, but our insurance wouldn't pay for it and my doctor said there wasn't enough tissue regardless. I think it would help, if I had answers as to why it happened. But then again, I know it wouldn't.

But help most certainly did follow. We were given the green-light to try again, and again with the clomid we returned to TTC. A cycle passed, and nothing. But then we went on vacation, to Gatlinburg. I ovulated while there, we road a roller coaster at Dollywood, and we had fun with friends from my most favorite site ever in the world and lo and behold.



which led to this:



then this:



some more of this:



and finally, this:




So, I know now why I couldn't have Quinn here with me Earth. If I had not lost Quinn, I couldn't have Oscar and Matilda. And in a perfect world, I most certainly want all of them, including a miscarriage I had with my ex-husband. But it's not a perfect world. But God's will IS perfect, and I trust in that.

Me and Mrs. Jones

I have a wonderful neighbor, Mrs. Jones. She is about 80 and is always coming over and bringing me treats like flowers and home-grown pecans, or just dropping by to chat and compliment my roses. She is such a sweetie. But I was feeling like a terrible neighbor- I never did that for her. So I made her some banana muffins.

I started, with my fave recipe from my fave cookbook. Mine is a 1946 reprint. It used to belong to my great grandmother, Leva.



You take 1 and 3/4 all-purpose flour plus 2 Tbsp of baking powder and 3/4 tsp of salt, or 1 and 3/4 cups of self-rising flour, which is what I always use. Then add 1/2 cup of sugar. I added 1 tsp of cinnamon as well, my own personal flair I suppose. And I never sift, I always use a whisk, til it's smooth.



Then you add 2-3 mashed bananas (let them get over-ripe for easier mashing and smoother baking) plus 2 eggs, and 1/2 cup of melted shortening. For me, the end result was way too dry/sticky, maybe I used too much banana or flour.



So I added half of one of these, which I have like 400 billion of. Another bit o' personal flair. MMM....apple prune juice.



That addition made the consistancy PERFECT, and man, did that batter smell GOOD!



Then you bake them about 380 degrees for 20 or so minutes, I think mine ended up being 25 minutes. It really depends on your oven. Just play around with it, being very modest at first, until you see how long it will take. Don't wanna burn them!



Oh, and if you are trying a new recipe and plan on giving it as a gift or taking it to a potluck or whatever, I recommend muffins. That way you can sample one to make sure it's tasty and edible before giving it.

Enjoy!

No longer a "Not Me Monday" virgin

I definitely did NOT make cookies today, just for the express purpose of using the chocolate-covered sunflower seeds I thought I wanted to eat but ultimately didn't enjoy. It must have been from a bad batch. I certainly didn't eat the entire first bag I got. and I most certainly didn't travel 6 hours away just to get the dang things.

I know I didn't sneak an Archie comic into the grocery cart and I certainly didn't feign stomach upset just to have some private moments in the bathroom to read it.

I also am for certain that I did not forget to properly set my oven and microwave clocks after the blackout yesterday and did not thusly try to put my kids down for a nap 2 hours before bedtime. Not me!

How to make fried chicken...

I had dinner tonight with my great grandmother. In spirit at least. :)

I went delving through her old house the other day. It's mostly junk, and the house is literally falling apart. But I did find a few gems. Keep in mind, one man's trash is another man's treasure, and that second man is probably me. Or woman rather... That goes without saying, but I said it anyway.

But I digress- I decided to make dinner "with" this lady tonight. Of course, an occasion such as this calls for fried chicken.

First you take a well-seasoned cast iron skillet. Being well-seasoned by your cherished great grandmother's hands 50+ years ago is entirely optional, but I swear it makes everything taste better.



Then you use whatever oil of choice in a med-high heat (I set mine to a 6). Vegetable oil is probably most common per Suth'n tradition, but I prefer regular olive oil, non extra-virgin. Extra virgin has too much flavor for me I think, the flavors compete in the fried chicken. Using your very last bit of olive oil is entirely optional and NOT recommended, as it means you have to go to the grocery store tomorrow.



Then you make your dredge. I typically grab several things and ad lib it. Every time is something different. It typically is some variation of what I have pictured below. I do about a cup and a half of flour, and 1 heaping Tbsp each of the other stuff, except the salt, that I just sprinkle a bit. Maybe 1/2 a tsp if I guesstimate. Using your great grandmother's antique bowls is again, entirely optional, but prefered. I wonder what the last thing she did with them was?



Then I make my egg mixture to bind the flour. I use 1 egg, about an 1/8 or so cup of milk (buttermilk or whole milk is best, but I didn't have any today) and I like to add a shot of worchestershire sauce. I call it wista-sher sauce by the way, and I don't think I'll ever be convinced to call it anything else.



Make sure the egg mixture and flour mixture are both well-whisked. I never sift flour btw, I always just whisk it. And have another bowl handy filled with bread crumbs. Or crumbled chips and crackers. Even corn flakes! Whatever floats your boat! My husband and I both prefer whole wheat crackers, oddly enough. Has an interesting flavor. Anyway, I set it up as thus, to minimize mess and nuisance. Chicken goes to my 4 o'clock, egg wash to my 6 o'clock, flour at 10 and bread crumbs at 2. I take the chicken (pre-salted) and dip in the egg, then the flour, and give it a lick and a promise kinda coating (not very much) and then into the crumbs, and then back into the flour. I make sure I coat it very well this second time. Then plop into the now hot oil in the skillet. Oh, and be sure and save a portion of the flour mixture before you start this process, for the gravy later.



Continue til all the chicken is in the skillet and happily sizzling. Granny Gran, can you smell it?



Now here is the tricky part. You don't want to bother it too much, or the breading will fall apart. I let it go maybe 5 minutes before turning it the first time. Then I turn them over every 3-4 minutes afterwards til they are a nice golden brown. Feel free to cut into it and check and make sure it's done before serving. You probably knew that anyway, but hey, I felt like saying it anyway.



And we're done!



Now, time for gravy! Some say this is the best part. I can't say I disagree. You take your still sizzling skillet full of chicken drippings and stuff, taking care to use a fork and fish out any large clumps of breading, or not, whatever, I rarely do.



Add that flour you saved earlier.



Splash in some milk, or water if you prefer, about 1/4 a cup? I have no idea exact measurements for this, I literally splash it in there.



Here you need to hurry, it will set quick. Stir continuously and as soon as you think you see it's almost set where you want it, transfer it to another bowl, which you have previously set aside in a handy location. It will continue to set in that bowl. If you wait til it's already set as thick as you want in the skillet, it will be too thick by the time it's in the bowl. It happens really fast, I promise! If you do happen to let it overthicken, just splash in a bit more milk. And if need be, if you over-compensated and it's too thin, add more flour. And voila, gravy! Spilling milk as you do your patented "splash" is entirely optional and not at all recommended, unless you enjoy extra range-scrubbing.



Enjoy your classic southern meal! I like to serve mine with mashed potatoes and green beans. The gravy goes great with the mashed potatoes too. Oh, and finishing it off with some faux tea in your great granny's carnival glass pitcher is entirely optional as well, but oh so recommended.



For some reason, I feel like I should say "entirely optional" one more time.