Trip down memory lane...

I decided I'd "introduce" everyone to my children. They were born 6 weeks early. Matilda Raven was born first, at 7:28 pm on 2/23/07, after 2.5 hours of pushing, plus 11 hours of labor. She came into the world pink and screaming, her APGARs were a stout 9 and 10. Oscar Robert was born exactly 2.5 hours later, at 9:58 pm, 2/23/07, after about 2 hours of pushing. But he wasn't born vaginally. I pushed for those 2 hours and unfortunately, he wasn't coming out and his heart rate kept dropping, so he was born via an emergency c-section. My doctor cut me vertically on my stomach but my womb he cut transverse, in hopes of aiding a future VBAC. Oscar was very sick. He never cried and needed immediate intubation and help breathing. By 6 am the next morning, he was on a ventilator. He had developed pneumonia in both lungs with one collapsing and the other 3/4 collapsed. In the meantime, I pumped my breasts and tried to deal with all the stress as best I could. Matilda did excellent, thank God, and 9 days after being born, she came home. She was exclusively breastfed and off the pumped milk, by 2 weeks old. Oscar struggled for 6 days at our birth hospital, and was transferred to Vanderbilt because nothing else could be done where we were and Vandy had ECMO, basically a heart/lung bypass machine for babies. He was there for another 5-6 days and sent back to Jackson after regaining strength and being weaned from the ventilator to CPAP. He stayed in Jackson's NICU another 2-3 weeks and came home to us at a month and a day old, on oxygen and apnea monitors. Those first months were a blur and he refused the breast at first. For months I tried and I was just about to give up when my mother-in-law, who had breastfed her children, came up with the ingenious idea to get him going on a bottle and then switcheroo to my breast. It worked and from then on he started refusing bottles. They are both still breastfed now, at 19 months old, and show little sign of stopping any time soon. I am extremely proud of myself for this accomplishment. I can't express how much I love breastfeeding my children. Don't get me wrong, I rant and rave about some of the negatives like night-feedings and refusing bottles and such, but I still love it. Anyway, here is a picture-filled timeline of the answers to my most oldest prayer...my children.

It's TWINS!


My last belly pic, at almost 32 weeks, just 2 weeks before they were born.


Matilda, first born


Oscar, first born


"kangaroo care" in the NICU with Oscar, about 4 weeks old.


Matilda's first cloth diaper! Shout out to Muttaqin for the diaper and Pishypants for the tie-dyed cover. She is about 4 weeks old.


Together again for the first time since birth, 1 month old


Breakin' out the bumbos...about 3 months old.


Mama kisses! About 4 months old. Oscar had just started breastfeeding from the "tap", notice the new chub!


at the Pumpkin Patch, 8 months old



Good Morning! 9 months old


Bathtime, 9.5 months old


Merry Christmas! 10 months old



Happy Birthday Oscar and Matilda!



Fun in the sun! 16 months old



Playing with bubbles, 17 months old


Hairbow Medusa and Angus Young...18 months old. Shout out to Batik Bum for the AC/DC diaper cover! Love it!



Well, there you have it. My kids, my blessings, my all.

What sort of Mom are you? (quiz)

I have researched the topic thoroughly and have uncovered a completely 100% accurate way to determine what sort of mother you are:

Pick which answer most describes your parenting:

1) What sort of delivery did/will you have?
a. A hospital birth, I'm concerned about safety if I did not.
b. A birthing center, near the hospital. Best of both worlds!
c. In the comfort of my home, where else would be better?

2) Will/did you receive pain medication?
a. Load me up baby! I want to enjoy my labor!
b. I'll try it without it, but won't beat myself up if I end up getting it.
c. I want to do it au naturale. I want my child born drug-free.

3) If you have a son, did/will you circumcise?
a. Yes! I feel it is easier/healthier, his father is circed, I don't want him teased, etc
b. I'm unsure. I may leave it up to his father to decide.
c. No way! It is completely unnecessary and is a risky procedure.

4) Will your child receive vaccinations?
a. Yes, and on the typical schedule. I feel the benefits outweigh the risks.
b. Yes, but on a delayed or modified schedule. I think this issue warrants more study.
c. No, my child has/will not be vaccinated. There are too many questions that need answers.

5) Do/did you plan to breastfeed?
a. No, formula is nutritious and satisfactory for my child.
b. I'll try it, but if it doesn't work out, that's ok too.
c. I am committed to breastfeeding. Breast is best.

6) If you breastfeed, how long will you breastfeed your child?
a. I'll just try to let baby receive the colostrum, the best milk.
b. My goal is 6 months to 12 months, give or take.
c. I plan on extended-nursing and/or child-led weaning.

7) What about slinging/baby-wearing your child?
a. I tried it, but I never got the hang of it.
b. We use a Bjorn, especially during shopping trips/walks.
c. I have a mei-tai, pouch, wrap, or ring-sling and use it very often.

8) Do you use any sleep-training/scheduling?
a. Yes, it was too hard to deal with no sleep. My baby thrives on a routine.
b. Somewhat. We modified it to fit our family situation.
c. No way! I follow my child's cues and it's worked out wonderfully!

9) Would you consider cloth diapers?
a. No, they sound like a lot of work, and that's the last thing I need.
b. I would try them, but I really don't think it's for me.
c. Oh yeah! I love the savings and the cute fluffy butts!

10) What foods do you give your child?
a. Typical baby stuff such as jarred purées, rice cereal, puffs, the occasional fast food treat
b. Typical baby stuff, but I try to get only organic brands, and I limit fast food.
c. I make all our babyfood myself, using fruits and veggies I myself grew. Absolutely no processed-food.

Answer key
mostly a's: You try to make the best decision for your family. You are an awesome mother!
mostly b's: You try to make the best decision for your family. You are an awesome mother!
mostly c's: You try to make the best decision for your family. You are an awesome mother!

There you have it! What sort of mother are you?

It's normal, dang-it!

I am still breastfeeding my twins Oscar and Matilda. They are 19 months old.

*gasp*

That's 18 months more than is considered normal here. You can make it to 6 months, but before then you have already been bombarded with all manner of "advice." Be it well-meaning and merely misinformed aunties or downright rude and cruel strangers, it's still the same result. Little to no confidence or self-esteem in what is a process closely connected to the mother's confidence and stress. But I digress...

Yes, they have teeth, and yes they've bitten me. So what? If they throw their bottle or chew the nipple, does that mean they should be weaned?

Yes, they can ask for it. "Mama! Booboo?" "Why, yes son, you may"... If I kid can ask for "baba" does that prompt a bottle-weaning?

So, congrats! You made it to 6 months. Say hello to a semi-comfortable, unwanted-advice-free period from 6 months to 10 months, at least it was that way for me. I guess people thought, 'Well, she didn't wean at 6 months, I guess she'll do it at 12 months.' So when that deadline started creeping up, so did the inquiries about weaning. People started with the:

"Surely you'll wean it before it's birthday!"
"She can walk! Surely you're weaning her."
"You've done a great job so far. Surely you want a break."

Um...no- we're not weaning. And don't call me Shirley.

So after their birthday, it was like open season. Luckily the people most close to me who were being negative were keeping mum. I guess by now they got it. Now came the uncomfortable silences when I would try to open dialogue with other moms, trying to make some friends. You tell someone you're still breastfeeding your toddler and they get this look. It's like you just said you feed them dog food. Actually, something worse than that- it's like breastmilk suddenly takes on this perverted or disturbing association. So, instead of dog food...maybe more like you just admitted you like to feeding your kid eat dog crap smoothies. Yeah, that describes that look much better.

Not only do you experience this from the lady you met in line at Kroger, but from medical professionals as well.

My son had physical therapists and some were very aggressive in encouraging weaning him. Not to mention the doctor visits I had for myself for various reasons. I actually had one convo with a dermatologist go thusly:

Doc: So, any allergies or anything?
Me: No, but I am breastfeeding.
Doc: Oh, that's nice. How old is the baby?
Me: It's twins actually, they're 14 months old.
Doc: HAHA! Seriously?
Me: *uncomfortable* Yeah...
Doc: What, do you just lay up and give them each a breast?
Me: Uh...yeah... it's easier that way.
Doc: Oh man...that's funny...*continues chuckling*

No, I won't be going back to him.

I can complain all I want but luckily I do have support. Most of my family are supportive, despite most being inexperienced with breastfeeding. Our hospital was very supportive of my efforts to breastfeed my twins. Oscar was very sick at birth and his doctor at Vanderbilt told me "It's as good as medicine." Their pediatrician is perhaps my most treasured gem. She is completely supportive and encouraging of extended nursing and child-led weaning. She herself has extended-nursed 5 children.

Bottom line, breastfeeding is natural and normal and most optimum for babies. You can't deny that. The AAP recommends:

"Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (2005)

The American Academy of Family Physicians noted:

"If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (2001)

Katherine Dettwyler, an anthropologist, researched lactaction and nursing among various mammals and found a range of typical weaning, in comparable human age, to be 2.5 to 7 years.

There are benefits to nursing a toddler. There appears to be a link to higher IQs, better social adjustment, fewer allergies, less illness, lower rates of cancers for both child and mother, among others goodies, directly correlating with duration of being breastfed.

Bottom line, when my children nurse and stare up at my with those contented eyes smiling and I feel their bodies relax and melt into me, feeling totally secure, how can I deny them that? Better yet, why should I, when what's urging me to are merely two generations of regular Joes and Joettes, befuddled by an aggressive formula propaganda effort early in the 1940s? It's not their fault, it's how they were raised, it's all they know. I get that, I really do. However, now we know better. Let my kids nurse in peace.